Question: 
We’d like to take our children to a real restaurant – one that serves food on a plate with silverware - and actually enjoy it for once! But every time we try this kind of adventure, we end up wishing we’d stayed home and ordered pizza.

Think about it:
Ironically, this problem is one that gets better with practice, but the experience is so painful that the sessions end up being too far apart to be of value. With a specific game plan, you can increase the odds that your children will behave appropriately in a restaurant. 

Teach them:
If you are very casual about mealtime manners at home, don’t expect your kids to miraculously develop table manners just because you happen to be sitting in a restaurant. Practice appropriate restaurant manners at home. On a daily basis, require good manners. Next, on a regular schedule, maybe once a month, have a “formal family dinner.” Actually use the good china that warms the shelf in your cabinet; cover the table with a tablecloth, and light some candles. Allow your children to help plan the menu and let them make a centerpiece for the table. Formal meals are likely to become a wonderful family tradition.

Choose wisely:
Don’t choose a restaurant based on its menu, but rather on its level of child-friendliness. What’s important? The availability of a children’s menu that includes food your kids will actually eat. The absence of a long wait for a table. Booster seats or high chairs. Private booths or eating nooks as opposed to one large open room. 

Be specific: 
Review your expectations for behavior before you enter the restaurant. Be very specific and leave no stone unturned. A sample list of “restaurant rules” might be: Sit in your seat. Use a quiet inside voice. Use your silverware, not your fingers. Have nice conversation, no bickering. If you don’t like something, keep your comments to yourself and fill up on something else. If you have to use the restroom, ask me privately and I’ll take you.
 
Feed ‘em quick:
If your kids are starving, they will get quite anxious waiting for their meals to arrive. Consider an appetizer that can be served quickly so that the kids can settle in.
 
Time out: 
If a child’s behavior gets out of hand, take her to the restroom or out to the car for a time out. Make sure she understands that this is happening because she is not following the rules, not as a fun diversion to sitting at the table! During this time out, discuss proper behavior with her and take her back to her seat with a clear understanding of what is expected. (Remember that it can be tough for a little one to sit quietly for a long period of time!) If she continues to misbehave after your time-out-chat, don’t be afraid to leave the restaurant. Don’t stay and suffer. If possible, hire a babysitter for that night, or another night soon afterward, and go to dinner without her. Leaving her behind with a sitter will speak volumes about expected behavior.