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1. WELCOME
2. PARENTING POINT TO PONDER: Keeping Your Perspective
3. ARTICLE: Gimme-Free Holiday Shopping
4. MY FAVORITES: Web Link of the Month
5. BOOKS: Reviews, Excerpts and Purchase Info
Hello!
This is my first "In Touch" newsletter. I've included ideas that I hope are interesting and helpful.
I'm in the final stages of creating my new website and would love to hear what you think: Check it out at http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.
Like you, I'm busy with holiday activities and having fun baking cookies, decorating and shopping for special gifts for my children. They are counting the days 'til Christmas! I hope that you and your family have a wonderful holiday filled with family fun.
Elizabeth
If you're having a really bad day with your child, cuddle him or her in front of a mirror. Or watch your little one nap for five minutes. You may find yourself falling in love all over again.
Question: I've reached the point where I don't want to take my child into a store. It doesn't matter if we're in a toy store, the grocery store, or the gas station, my kid finds something he "must" have. He usually starts out with a gentle plea, moves up to an annoying whine, and eventually works himself up to frantic begging and pleading. I HAVE to get my holiday shopping done! Help!
Think about it: It's a simple equation.
Take lots of exciting TV commercials and add a peek at a friend's prized possessions. Multiply the result by attractive store displays. Sprinkle liberally with a child's natural desires and the result is: THE GIMMEES. It's a hard lesson, but kids can learn to enjoy the finer things in life without demanding that they have a piece of every pie they see.
Give the shopping list of the day
Let your child know in advance what you will or will not be buying that day. For example, "We're going to the mall to buy gifts for Nathan and Julia. We may get socks as well, but that's all we'll be purchasing for ourselves today." When your child makes a request for a sweatshirt, simply remind him, "That's a great shirt, but remember, we're here to buy gifts today."
Accept their wishes
Acknowledge your child's desire for nice things, "Wow! That is an amazing game. It looks like fun." Follow this with a statement of why you'll not be buying it, without sounding reproving, such as, "We're only buying groceries today." Or "We're here to buy a gift for your cousin Oishi today."
Santa's list
Create a "wish list" for your child and keep it in your wallet. Whenever your child says, "I want this," make a comment such as, "Do you prefer the blue one or the rainbow colored one?" Then pull out the list and add the item saying, "I'll add this to your wish list."
Play pretend
Validate your child's wish for new things by using a fantasy statement. "Wouldn't it be great if the owner of this store told us we could fill up our cart with anything we wanted for free!" What typically ensues is a fun game of make believe.
Teaching, too
Don't ever say, "We can't afford it." The message is that if you could, you'd buy those $200 shoes! Instead make a comment that can teach your child something about making money decisions, such as, "Those are pretty, but we choose not to spend $200 on a pair of shoes when we can find ones we like for $30."
Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill from Perfect Parenting: The Dictionary of 1,000 Parenting Tips by Elizabeth Pantley, copyright 1999.
http://www.geoparent.com/
Parenting articles, tips, message boards, experts, and more. I find this site to be nicely arranged and easy to navigate. An interesting feature is the local information area: find out about family events in a number of major cities.
Please browse my Website (http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/ for articles, parenting Q & A, links — plus excerpts from, reviews of, and purchase info for my books:
- The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night
- Hidden Messages: What Our Words and Actions Are Really Telling Our Children
- Perfect Parenting: The Dictionary of 1,000 Parenting Tips
- Kid Cooperation: How to Stop Yelling, Nagging & Pleading and Get Kids to Cooperate
- The Successful Child: What Parents Can Do To Help Their Kids Turn Out Well
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